Here comes the sun...

There is nothing I like better than to have sun on my face. It brings me warmth and a sense of calmness. I enjoy it. I wanted a car with a sunroof for crazy sakes! The majority of the mornings, I have the sun to my right side. I feel it coming thru my window on my face. It’s one of my favorite moments of the day. However, this morning, I realized something was missing. I could see the sun. It poked it’s rays thru the trees. It lit up the morning. But, I couldn’t feel it. It was all around me, but still I couldn’t feel it like I (me me me me) wanted to. I drove faster. I drove slower. I moved my head. I opened by sun roof. No matter which way I moved, I just couldn’t feel it like I WANTED to. Irritated. I needed my sun. Then it hits me, it’s my upper door panel thingie blocking the light. It was blocking my sun. How dare it. But let’s think, I can’t remove the door panel. If I could have drove without doors, I would have! So, as I traveled, I couldn’t wait to reach the point where the sun would be fully on me. I was hungry for it. I needed it. It’s a favorite thing. Finally, after being patient, there it appeared. Bright. Warm. Big. Glorious. All it’s great big rays shining down on little ole me and I LOVED IT. It’s what I have been waiting for. Then another thing hits me, how crazy is it that we are that way with God. We have just that something in our way of feeling His full love. We want it. We need it. We crave it. But still, that little something or big something is in the way of feeling His fullness. And then again, on the other hand, some, know His blessing is there, see it, feel it, but we want it right then, right NOW. He follows our lives. He is right there with us, but we have to be patient and know and understand that it’s on His time table, not ours. Finally, after we have waited, He appears .... our blessing, our sun on our face, and it’s GRAND... it’s greatness... it’s Him in His way that He wants it to be - for us. Just imagine when we sit, or stand, or whatever position - in His presence, with full SON our on face.... what a morning that will be! And no silly little door panel is gonna steal that away!

REALLY!

For the better part of 3 weeks, we have been searching for an AC/Heat company. To say the least, it's been rough. They are crazy busy and we understand. But get this, one of the companies (out of Benton and rhymes with Bones) I called and left messages and left messages and called (so you get the point right) called me back, gave me a price I could live with, and said, HE WOULD HAVE HIS SCHEDULE MAN CALL ME (bold on CALL ME). That was many many moons ago. Today, I get a call. Mrs. Stafford my men are at your house and we have some questions. HUH. Wait. Im at my house. Just Sloan and I. No AC men with us. Im confused. What happened to the schedule man calling me to set up a time? I return the call, guess what no one answers, imagine that, and I leave a message. Very polite I might add, which if you are reading this and you know me, it's a very rare form I know, but yet, I was polite. It's something Im working on, but anyway... back to the story. Mr. "it rhymes with BONES" Im sorry but in the time that I was waiting on your schedule man to CALL ME, (some 10 days later) we accepted another bid. I now have a unit it. Thank you, Jenny Stafford. Well guess what, I should have tried that approach weeks ago, HE CALLED RIGHT BACK. Mr. "it rhymes with BONES" was less than happy, matter of fact, I would strongly lean on mad. He tried to confirm with me that I was costing him money! Actually, it's right the opposite Mr. AC man, I was trying to give you money! I didnt say that; however, I was thinking it. This is the amazing part, I let him chew on me a bit. I was polite. I let him finish about how I was costing him and how I bumped five people of his list today and about how he didnt appreciate me and about how I could have called him (oh yes that was a good one), and I just thought to myself... REALLY. If this wasn't the funniest conversation I have had the pleasure of having, I might have unleashed the beast but I DIDNT (GO ME). I was polite. REALLY polite. I wanted to use gestures, and words, and more gestures, but I didn't. That's part of winning the war right... so I'm smirking because I do know that what you dish out and some point you will have to... well you know.   So, this is my smirk for today.

The Best of Both Worlds

I'm loving this Tuesday morning! We helped my brother and sister in law do a little remodel this weekend! True weekend warriors we are! But this weekend warrior is feeling it today! HA! This morning, Sloan and I got Sky and Jojo off to school and are now just hanging out with one another! Sloan and I decided that Josie needed cupcakes for her big day tomorrow... so cupcakes we made! It's great to have the day with Sloan. Jeremy and I are so thankful that we have great employers!! Jeremy has a boss that if need arises that he has to take off last minute and take care of something... go and no questions asked. I have a boss that understands how important your family truly is and allows days where I can work from home. It's fantastic to get the best of both worlds and hopefully we will never take that for granted! We understand where the blessing comes from and we are thankful that He has provided the best of both worlds! So, today, it's mom hat for me ALL day! Happy Tuesday all!

3 a.m. disturbia

Where's the shut off switch? Someone please tell me?!?!?! This is craziness. 10 p.m. my body is so sleepy but my mind is wound up tight. Thus 3 a.m. and I'm blogging. Lots on my mind. I just can't file it away to sleep. I need to be working but I don't think driving to the church at 3 a.m. is a good plan. I need to be working on an appeal transcript, but I don't wanna! I need to be washing clothes, but I can't! (story from earlier in the week, washer door exploded!) I need to fix my brother's termites, out of my control! I need to get moving on our remodel, don't know how to lay brick. I need to get a hair cut, Hair Shack is closed! (SIDE NOTE: Hair Shack ladies... just think of the possibilities of having a shift for all us crazy females that can't sleep, you know, hair cuts, dyes, perms all at early morning hours! You'd make a killing! LOL! Just a thought!!) I need to run virus scan again on computer, but I'm blogging. I want to sleep, but I can't! See it's this mess. I should have pulled my weight better on VBS this year. I should have dropped off the phone bill that is still in my purse. I need to get that list complied of Sunday School teachers. I need to do better with the Youth. Where's that shut off switch again? I can't believe I let myself slip up and slack with the gym. This is craziness. I believe people probably take medication for this. LOL! But I'm pretty positive I'm not the only female up at this hour with a million things running thru her head! So tomorrow, if you see me, and my bags are shining under my eyes... yes it was because I blogged instead of sleeping just not by choice! I would rather be snoozing... oh wait a yawn... does this mean, oh maybe sleep is in my near future! Good morning all!

Signs

Josie asked me to make her a sign that says "Stay Out". She wanted the sign to hang on her door. Instantly and dorkily (yeah I don't think that's a word) I started singing to myself "signs, signs, everywhere there's signs". Then my distorted mind goes to, wouldn't it be great if people came with signs. Signs to let others know exactly what they're getting. Like a nutrition label for humans. Haven't we all meet people, friended them, and then asked ourselves, I didn't know I was getting this as a friend. If we came with signs, we'd know ahead! LOL! Can't you just see it now, in big bold letters: Im Fake. I lie. I cheat. Im happy. Im truthful. I theive. Im golden. Im true. Im angry. Im two-faced. Im pure. Im long-suffering. Im lazy. Im positive. Im negative. I laugh. Im genuine. At one time or another, we have all needed a sign or two or three. I hate to admit it, but sometimes people have warnings all over them and we still try to find the good or make up the good... yay us, or is it? Not everything can be positive as much as we try to force it to be. Just wondering what big bold letters would be on my back for the world to see? (eyebrow raise here)

Interruptions

In case I haven't mentioned it... I love working from home during the summer! There is nothing like it! I'm so thankful for the opportunity as well as for a boss that values family. There are days that are a bit more difficult than others, but the good outweighs the difficult by far. I often fuss at work about being interrupted by the phone or other necessary means that make a job a job, but at home, my interruptions are priceless moments that I never want to do without. I was working away this a.m. and my first interruption was Sloan. She wanted to wear Jojo's softball visor. It makes her feel like a big girl. By the way, did I mention she is running around in only her panties and now the softball visor! HA. (I wonder if she sings to herself the toddler version of "Natural Woman".) Next it was Skylar... "Hey mom", "I'm going with Papaw to the hay field." Door shuts. Skylar reenters, "If that's ok??" Big smile because he knows mom hates being TOLD where they are going! Then finishing up the ends, Josie enters. Sits in my lap, gives me huge hug and kiss on the cheek, topped off with "I love you". Now, that's the point where I stop and do a little blessing counting, and whisper to God, oh how I love my interruptions!

Kelly Blue Book yourself

What's your trade-in value? Ever thought about that. It's been one of those couple of weeks where I have to ask myself... what's your value Jenny? Do I have a value? To anyone? To my husband? To my children? To my friends? To God? Of course I know the Godly answer, yes I have a value and I know He first loved me and I LOVE HIM. But, I'm in this world and sometimes the world takes its toll on me. Don't take this to seriously, but you know that certain people use you for what your worth is and then trade you in. People do it. I hate to think about this but I'm sure that at some point in my life I have caused someone to question their value? Employers do it. Spouses do it. Friends do it. Thankfully, I have a marriage that depends on each other's values to make it work. I don't know how we would work as a unit if we didn't. Another thankful, I have an employer that does not degrade or lessen my value at work. Last but not least,friends. True friends are few and far between and their values are priceless. Priceless comes only with "true". Typically things that are priceless, I never trade! I keep and guard because they are priceless. It's the not-so-priceless that get stamped with a value and on the market for the trade-in. Ever feel like you are on your way to the "yard sale"? Oh yes... it's been a yard sale kind of couple weeks! Ever feel like searching your body for the "value stamp"? Wonder what it is? What is my trade-in value? Where's the Kelly Blue Book when you need it? So, at the end of the day, I believe I'll take my value from my Maker. After all, it's my value with Him that matters the most. I think I'll take a break from searching for my worldly "value" stamp.

Free at last... PTL free at last!!!

I'll keep it short but just wanted to shout out that GUESS WHAT.... between Jeremy and I we only vacuumed three times last week! Yes you are reading correctly!! Only three times!!! Can I get an Amen... we're free!!! That being said, I love my new carpet! No foot prints. No overwhelming OCD need to erase where the family has walked during the day. Our favorite piece of equipment friend, Dyson, is resting quietly in his little closet. Things are a bit more carefree in the Stafford House :)))

Work in progress

Ok, pride comes before the fall, right! Well I have been very proud of some recent flexibility, no I do not mean I can do the splits, but more like, "Yes honey if that's easiest, by all means, let's just take care of that way." Smooth huh! I know you're thinking... did Jenny say that?!?!?! Jenny flexible?? Like oil and water huh! But it's happened! And I have been proud of myself...enter FALL.
If you're reading this then you probably already know that our circus has to have things in "order". We are not the type of people who can just "deal" with "stuff" everywhere. We have a place for everything. Keys, shoes, purse, backpack... for crying out loud I had to dry off with a t-shirt because I couldn't find a clean towel. OM... I really just posted that! :{. It's the truth.
We have been thinking this entire week that the first half of the remodel would be completed by the end of next week... WRONG! It's going to be extended just by one week, but still, it's a L O N G week. FALL. Flat on our faces. LOL... I know it's going to be ok and it's how we handle these tiny little hurdles. So we're going to get up from the floor, dust ourselves off and be crazy for another week! And hopefully choose to smile about it, because hey, it's about the journey right!

Long time no post

Wow it's been a few weeks since I posted. No big happenings in the Circus. Oh wait, Jeremy did take it to the face from a skeet-thrower... now that was interesting! LOL. Oh don't worry and think I'm heartless.... he's fine! Sore. But fine. Did I mention to the face?!?! Skeet-thrower? Cocked. Face. Jaw. Ok moving on...
We've been hooked up! Ball practices,dance,church and we've had our moments with one or more viro "bugs" chasing everyone down. Which brings us to Spring Break - - WHOOO HOOO - - is here and couldn't be happier; no I'm not off work all week, but off the "schedule" and IT'S GREAT! Don't get me wrong, my kids are great on a schedule and really stick to it. But still, just the rat race of getting everyone everywhere can really wear a family down.
Oh the remodel you may ask... well it's moving along... at a snail's pace, but none the less moving. Not for lack of effort, more lack of time. We are currently at the point of sheet rock. At 1 a.m. this morning my "Holmes" decided he would give it a rest and come to bed. I'm not a night person and husband/wife remodel team after 11 p.m. is NOT pretty!!! I traded my hammer for my pillow! Great trade I might add! It is my personal opinion the den is the worst part. Well, if you have ever added onto a house with an existing area, you understand! And have you ever noticed, no one calls you during a remodel... I think they're worried you'll ask for their help!! LMBO! They just honk and drive on by! :)

Bring on the white trash BABY!

Last week, I get a text from Jeremy that says... this p.m. when you get home, the house will look like white trash lives there. And my response was WHOOOHOOOO. It all translated to the "project" will begin! So, that was last week. All moved along pretty smoothly and then, life struck! Project stopped. As easily as it started, it stopped. Jeremy told me that I should complain to my contractor! Not a bad idea, but he has such selective hearing! I'm not sure that spring time was the best time to being a project. All sounds good on paper, but rain, ball practices, dance, church, work, and repeat again, all seems to take it's toll on the project. A week later, we can qualify for "white trash" yard of the year!

Random.

Last night our Wednesday lesson was "what is something you couldn't live without or what would be the first thing you would grab on your way out of the door if your house was on fire!" Most of the kids said their Bibles. That got this ole'mind to thinking. In our household, our Bibles are located all together and for easy access. But would that be the first thing I grabbed going out the door. Let's be honest, no. Because how many times I walk by all the collection of Bibles my family has and just keep walking. I have no doubt that my family is no different than others. We have black ones, small ones, orange one, pink one, large blue one, many different versions, one for ladies, one for men, just a big variety of Bibles. When I walk by, I'm too busy. I've got laundry. Supper to fix. Vacuum (oh I think I could put down my Dyson for the third time during a day). Watching Greys. Plucking some weird hair that has popped out on my face. Kids to tend to. Husband to correct (yes... LOL... you know as well as I do, us ladies always have to correct whether we're right or not) You name it, most of the time, I just keep walking by for whatever reason. Now, yes, I do love me some Beth Moore Bible Study and I use a couple of my Bibles for that, and I do prepare on Wednesday evenings and Sunday morning lessons, but just to pick up and get an answer that I need for the day... hardly ever. The easy access part... now what I mean is when we are darting out the door to church... we grab a Bible or two because of the easy access. Most of the adults I know would grab pictures because we consider the pictures irreplaceable. Just thinking how more improved my life might be if I considered less clutter irreplaceable and focused other important things.

For my husband...

Craziness

Wow what is up? That is what I keep thinking to myself. One day I woke up and realized that my body just isn't what it used to be. I know, where I have I been right! I've been tricked! I believed the 30's were being pretty kind to me, but 33 seems to have a different lesson. My body is rejecting 33. Scares me about 34. And can someone tell me where all this facial hair comes from... one day my lips are chapped, the next day, they're protected and not by good ole' Burt's Bees, but more like a beehive of hair! And geez, don't even get me started on the single wire surprise hair that jumps from the bridge of my nose! And the hormones... MERCY! You would think that a body that has been through three pregnancies would be given a reprieve!?!?!? But no! This morning, really, I thought I had peed my pants! YES PEOPLE I'M BLOGGING THIS! It wasn't urine. It was sweat! Now, any rational female would think to herself... oh yay, I didn't pee on myself in the middle of the night, BUT today, nothing rational is within me. I was more disturbed that it was sweat!! Night Sweats... urrrr! And my poor husband - I won't begin to get into what a crown he will receive one day for putting up with this rollercoaster. I was trying to correct my kids this morning and I'm pretty positive that my voice went from mom to E.V.I.L. At least that message was written across their sweet innocent victim-like faces! They scattered to the car in fear! In fear!
Oh how I hope this ends soon. My friends that are older and wiser than I, say oh yes you will survive and it will be ok. My younger friends... they just think... we'll that it's craziness!

It's the gift.

First let me say, that I am fully aware just how blessed I am. Not trying to be conceited, but let me explain. I have known all of my great-grandparents except three. Those three passed on prior to my birth. My childhood consists of so many grandparents! I don't mean pictured memories, I mean living my childhood with them. So, let me fast forward a bit to this weekend. After 33 years, I lost one of my grandparents. You would think being an adult would make it somewhat easier; but it doesn't. So many people in this world never know any of their grandparents... so yes, Im WOW'd at the thought that God gave me the gift of my grandparents. And it is a gift! (side note: not gift bagged either, I mean a fully boxed, nice paper, huge perfect bow gift) You can't imagine how long I have dreaded the day that one of those gifts had to be called home. The weekend arrived and I made it thru. Poppy Tug aka Pepaw died Sunday. I can't even begin to blog the memories. Mostly because they are so many in number and secondly, Im a blubber butt and I'll start blubbering again. But with a smile on my face, I can blog tonight and say: He was a first-class grandfather. He was a jokester! He was a Christian, a devoted husband, a straight forward father, and a GRAND grandfather! Im proud to be his granddaughter. His "Beccker". His first born grandchild. To be a branch of the Tugwell Family Tree. Sad. Yes. But more thankful and blessed for the 33 years. I'm going to take the cup half full route rather than half empty. And in all honestly, my cup isnt even half full, my cup runs over. Im fully aware of the gifts and the Giver! My heart is fixed, O God, my heart is fixed: I will sing and give praise. Psalm 57:7

He's still tweaking on me.

Tweak: to fine tune or adjust. Yes He is still working on me, to make me what I ought to be... I got up this morning thinking about that song and a telephone conversation I had with a friend last night. PTL He still tweaks me but sadly that I must be tweak'd on. I was telling my friend that it's my little wired-up belief that He originally wired us just how He wants us. All the little funny ways and habits we have, all the ways of our personalities, all to His setting by His control box. He knows our wiring system like NO ONE else does, after all, it's His system. But this morning, I was thinking about our wiring and the need for tweak'g. My wires get crossed more than they should. My wires get corroded. My wires break. My wires spark out. There are days that I get the wrong repair and it shuts the system down. I don't call on the right repairman. I pull out some good ole' southern ingenuity and try to repair it myself. I let sin seep in corrode my wiring system. It's like that song Slow Fade by Casting Crowns. It's not like I just jump into a vat of sin, but it seeps in over time when I'm distracted or when my wiring system isn't up to par. Then my wires get corroded and nasty. My life gets out of control. Anxieties and doubt kick in. Excuses start. Easy fixes win. Sight is clouded. Thoughts are not pure. The right actions are lessened. Yes, I'm a tad thick-headed and sometimes it takes all the above for me realize the ONLY way to remove all that crude built up on my wiring is J-e-s-u-s. He is the original 3M contact cleaner! He removes my corrosion. He restores my wiring. He repairs my system. There is no system He can't repair. My thoughts are back on the right path. I see easy fixes aren't the cure. I kick my excuses. I close out my doubt and anxiety. My sight is focused. My life becomes grounded again.

Jeremy and I both love to people watch. Jeremy more so because he usually takes a bench in the mall while I'm taking care of important household chores like closet management! :) I get a kick out of people. Just to watch and see all the different wiring systems out there. People are unique and sometimes just plainly speaking... strange. But strange to me, not my God. Those strange ones are His system too. We're all from the same factory, just different models. All the models need a good tweak'g every now and again. So this morning, yes my heart is singing He is still working on me, to make me what I ought to be! Am I ashamed that He must tweak me, Yes. But am I eternally thankful that He is there when I call on Him to tweak me, FOR SURE!

The parental fear

Today the phone call arrived. If you're a parent, one of the phone calls that you dread most. The Norman family invited Skylar to the Big Buck Classic. He was stoked as you can imagine if you know my son. So his weekend is as 11 year old perfect could be, Big Buck Classic and sleep over with his cousin/best bud. The boys had a little outdoor time before church this morning. Let's just say, they didn't stay in their given boundary and gave Uncle Bop and Aunt Mamie (Sloan slang) an unfortunate big scare. When Aunt Mamie called to say they couldn't find the boys, you could feel the fear in her voice. Mom to Mom fear. By the grace of God, this was no real emergency, but it certainly posed all the right factors for one. My motherly gut tells me this will not be the last phone call I get regarding those two and their adventures and my prayer is that if the phone rings again for those reasons, the ending is as happy as today's. Just considering if a GPS micro-chip inserted behind the ear would be going a bit far? ;)

Far greater need than this...

Yesterday was a whiner day. I think the majority of us have them, but just refuse to give it a title because we don't whine, right?!?! Nothing serious happening, but all the same, just a day that we hope to soon forget. At one point during the day, I checked out one of my favorite blogs to read. LPM website had a post from a missionary's wife in Haiti. Let me just stop to say... THANK YOU LORD FOR MY WHINER DAY. I received God's post-it... actually that may have been upsized to the new label size!!! I have nothing to complain about much less whine like a toddler. And I was whining to my Lord. I know what you are prob thinking... to cast my burden at His feet, but this was far far far from burden, it was a whiiiinnne. Does that count? Anyway... Moving on... I just got this picture in my head of Him gently leaning down whispering in my ear "Shhhhhh.... be quiet and act like you have good sense." The reason I picture that is because when my kids are acting up, yes you guessed it, I lean in real close to the ear and whisper some parental direction in a very stern whisper. My heart breaks for the Haitian people. I was "hearting" for the missionaries. I can't imagine some of the struggles they must face and to calculate a natural disaster yet on top of that. But once again, I am reminded that my understanding is not necessary, just my cooperation. So maybe today I will put my cooperation up-front with His plan rather my suggestions or my whining.

Just another WalMart trip

Ok let me begin with I've been debating the entire blog thing for a while now... and well, here I am. I found it appropriate to start with one of the many weird things that happen to dear ole' mom... WalMart Trip 10,879(yes prob exaggerated, but you get my drift). Im minding my own in the liquid soap when a complete stranger decides that I should be smiling. The strangers decides to tell me to smile. WHAT? Are you kidding me? (Im thinking to myself this isnt happening again, because yes this isnt my first rodeo with a situation similar) I didn't express to the stranger exactly what I was thinking (yes I know God knows)but simply said thank you for the reminder, but it's the song in your heart that matters, right? I turned and went on to pick up my soap. That done it, my focus was completely broken... now was trying to get exfoliating, softening, raspberry, sea breeze what... I can't remember because of the over-stepping stranger! Yes, I went on and got my soap. My focus arrived after I was in the cat food, so I went back for my soap. All the while hoping to not run into the stranger because I wasnt convinced that I could be the person I needed to be a second go around. Needless to say, I thought this would be an appropriate first post on the blog. I hope you enjoy our posts about the circus life! Happy Friday all!